Dear Cyborg and Alexainie,

I’m going to respond to you both in one post. I hope you don’t mind.

I realize that what I wrote may be the equivalent of shouting into the wind, but I did it for several reasons.

Danna wrote a piece called My Turn, which she published as an essay to the entire Medium community. This took the issue out of the realm of an exchange along a private thread and into a pubic forum. Both of you were named in the piece. The piece also exhibited, to my eye, a glaring emotional disconnect between two related actions. I responded because:

• You were both named in the piece and, because you had blocked her, you would not know about how your names were used unless someone responded tagging you.
• There was a possibility that if someone whom Danna did not have a prior relationship with pointed out the inconsistency of her position, she might be more able to hear the message.
• I wanted to red-flag the described double standard (anonymous vs. friend) and inconsistencies for readers who might not have noticed them.

The sum of my belief system can be encapsulated in “What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. This is the law: all the rest is commentary.” Talmud, Shabbat 31a. (thank you Cyborg for your Golden Rule piece). My favorite part of church as a child was when we were dismissed with this benediction, “Go forth into the world in peace; be of good courage; hold fast that which is good; render to no one evil for evil; strengthen the fainthearted; support the weak; help the afflicted; honor all persons;…” Book of Common Worship, Presbyterian. It seemed the truest part of all the rigmarole to me.

I do my best to live by that code. That’s why I felt compelled write my response. If what I say falls on deaf ears, so be it. At least I have given it my best shot. I grew up with a narcissist, so I am fairly resigned to impossibility of reaching some people.